It is said that "a woman chases a man, there is a veil between them, and a man chases a woman, there is a mountain between them." Why is it that in relationships, boys always take the initiative, while girls only need to wait?
1. The shaping of social and cultural environment
1. In cultural works, the false existence of perfect lovers
In the eyes of most women, this society is There is an image of a perfect lover.
Exists? Where is it? Why can’t I see it?
Yes, it does not exist in reality, but exists in cultural works.
Today, when online novels are popular, there is no contradiction between "having a successful career" and "surrounding girls all day long"; "being handsome, wealthy and charming" and "keeping oneself clean" are not contradictory; " There is no contradiction between "handsome and outstanding" and "stalking girls wholeheartedly and kneeling and licking them".
Such an image of a perfect lover is meant to cater to the Mary Sue mentality of female audiences and cater to ratings, but in turn makes women think that this is reality. In reality, there must be such a man who can become their white horse. Prince, fulfill all your fantasies about love.
2. Taking sexual culture seriously has made marriage and love a cover for some people to cheat
In the Chinese cultural context, sexual behavior is a particularly sacred thing. However, for most men, sexual intercourse is actually a necessary means to solve physiological needs.
Under the constraints of this cognition, if a man wants to vent physically, he can only cater to women’s attitudes and concepts about sex, use love as an excuse, and sincerity as an excuse to express His love for her.
For example, a CEO with an annual salary of tens of millions met a novice who came to the company for an interview one day. The CEO was very interested in her face and body and just wanted to sleep with her. But there is a high probability that he will not express his true thoughts, but will use "You are very special, and I want to have a serious relationship with you."
In this way, there will be more such things in the future , in the world that women see, there are sincere people everywhere, and there are handsome and wealthy men everywhere who love them. It further deepened my understanding that "perfect lovers must exist" influenced by cultural works.
3. Men and women have different concepts of "showing kindness"
The long-term influence of cultural concepts in our country Under the circumstances, women are generally more reserved and shy in expressing their opinions in relationships between the sexes. Therefore, for women, showing kindness to a man and expressing their willingness to develop a serious relationship with him is generally true and has high gold content.
But it is different for men. From the feudal period’s idea of ??three wives and six concubines, to today’s prevailing male chauvinism. Men are very concerned about the behavior of showing affection to girls.More casual and comfortable.
As mentioned earlier, there are even some men who express their desire to develop a romantic relationship with women for the purpose of deceiving women, but their sincerity and value are very low.
The key is that over time, women can easily feel good about themselves and think that they are extremely competitive in the marriage and love market. Then, it becomes a natural result that women overestimate their own charm and competitiveness and maintain a superior attitude.
2. Licking by men
1. The generalization of dog licking
Men in our country have a characteristic that has lasted for centuries and has not disappeared, and that is: machismo.
These men are driven by the cognition of machismo, which leads them to feel that they should protect, protect and take care of each other when interacting with women. In the end, it is inevitable that they will kneel and lick each other.
Some people even begin to think that if they don’t lick, they are not good men, and they use “love” and “responsibility” to explain their behavior and engage in pitiful self-deception.
As time goes by, a woman is licked too much and hard, and begins to regard being licked as her own rigid need. She requires the men she associates with to kneel down and lick her, otherwise it is a sign that she does not love her.
2. A dog licker will not lick just one person
I have read a very interesting sentence before, which is: "Be a girl's spare tire, and you are her spare tire." "Be a spare tire for ten girls, and she will become your spare tire."
Just like men's attitude towards showing kindness is very casual, men's attitude towards being a spare tire for others is also very casual. The sentence "I want to date you" was most likely sent in bulk.
On the surface, men will show their willingness and desire to enter a relationship, but in reality, it is another matter. They just have a lower profile in appearance. It was true that he was licking, but the woman was actually the one being picked.
But most of the time they don’t know.
Therefore, when people are complaining about why women nowadays are unwilling to take the initiative to pursue or express their affection, they might as well think about what they have done right?
