It is said that you can only go forward when you meet the right person. Maybe when you first fell in love, you felt that the two of you were very compatible, but after getting along for a long time, you realized that the other person was not the right person, so you broke up. So why can’t I always meet the right person when I’m in love? Instead of feeling sad, it is better to find the root cause and analyze your inner true views on love.
1. You just want to be single
Sometimes people fall in love not because they like each other or appreciate the person in front of them; sometimes, it’s just that she appears at the right time and place. At that moment, you are tired of being alone, tired of being alone, so you want to use the idea of ????"better than nothing" to interact with her.
The love that comes together because of loneliness lacks the mentality of "you have to do it". The love that is out of balance from the beginning may be a little friction or fatigue due to familiarity. The friction of this phantom of love, You will always break up soon after dating.
2. Your feelings may not be accurate
While chatting, I accidentally discovered that two people were actually together. They fall in love with the same book, the same album or the same movie, or they say the same infatuated poem in the same voice, or both of them happen to be fascinated by a certain sporting event. These "similarities" always make people can't help but connect them with destiny, and feel that the person in front of them is the long-awaited "love one"?
This situation is particularly likely to happen on dating software. After you've experienced a few failures, you'll realize that these "coincidences" of reality are probably just your own romantic feelings. Even if you have many similar interests and hobbies, it does not mean that both of you are suitable for entering this relationship.
3. You don’t have to be her
Everyone likes to be recognized and liked. When the hardships of life intensify and the pressure increases dramatically, these expectations of "recognition" will inevitably be transferred to emotional relationships. When you meet someone who agrees with everything you say, seems to understand you very well, tolerates all your shortcomings, and even admires you a little, such a person will inevitably make you indulge in the pink bubble of being loved and admired. Pauli.
But is this love? Men all look forward to being admired and admired, but before actually entering a relationship, sometimes you have to make it clear whether you want a fan or a lover relationship. Because the former is not necessarily her, anyone can replace it; while the latter is, with her, everything is enough. In a relationship, you always complain that people come and go, but you can't find the right person, and you can't be stable. There's a good chance you've fallen into this blind spot in love.
4. You only love yourself
It may be a bit narcissistic, but it is indeed possible. Sometimes, the person we are looking for in love is looking forward to someone similar to us, and this wonderful "getting along"The feeling is precisely due to the illusion of "seeing yourself in the other person".
But the problem is that this kind of self-projected imagination may eventually be disillusioned by some insignificant "differences in values" and "differences in living habits", and people are shocked to say "I thought you understood me" "I thought You and I are the same kind of people.” It's a pity that that person is not you, and in the end the relationship cannot continue.
5. You fall in love with the person you imagined
Believe it or not, romantic movies And the beautiful plots in romantic idol dramas may have a subtle impact on our emotions.
Excessive beautification of love is likely to make you have too many expectations and fantasies when facing ambiguous objects and partners. If you enter this relationship seriously, as time goes by, the passion in love dissipates, your heart gradually becomes rational and calm, and you will begin to be full of doubts and criticisms of the person in front of you.
Because it is very likely that we never fell in love with the person in front of us from the beginning. More often, we fall in love with the person in our imagination, an imaginary person who meets all expectations and fantasies. But when the other person cannot meet the expectations, this feeling of love will collapse and eventually make you It gives rise to the illusion that you love the wrong person or the wrong person. But in fact, it is very likely that all this is just because you have too many beautiful fantasies and too many expectations for love.
