After confirming the relationship with my girlfriend, I found that she still had her ex-boyfriend on her WeChat friend list and contacted her occasionally, so I asked her to delete him, but my girlfriend said she was unwilling to delete him. Why is this?
There are generally two situations when a girlfriend is unwilling to delete her ex-boyfriend’s WeChat account. One is that your girlfriend is still in close contact with her ex, and they are no longer connected;</p p>
The other is that she has let go of the past, but has not deleted her ex’s contact information.
If it’s the former, the reason is obvious. The opportunity to get back together with her ex is what she values ??most, and you are just her second best option. If it’s the latter, I want to ask this question. Talk about a love rule on a cognitive level.
Many boys adhere to the principle of "commitment is more important than management" when facing a romantic relationship.
But in the initial stage of the relationship, the two people are only attracted to each other. The connection between the two parties is still on the surface. Each still retains a strong sense of self and has not yet fully integrated with the other. Be prepared, and even less able to accept that your "territory" is being violated.
This "turf" includes but is not limited to your own memories, your own living habits, your own attitudes and ways of dealing with others, your own social circle, your own plans for the future, etc.
A couple needs to go through a lot from "We have nothing to do with each other" to "I am willing to go through fire and water for you." There will only be one sentence "Let's be together".
As the love relationship grows, after the two parties have experienced certain things, they will understand each other more deeply, their attachment will deepen, and their trust will gradually be established, and then there will be a deeper connection. At this time, you will willingly give up part of yourself and merge with your lover to become "us".
Take the matter of retaining your ex’s contact information as an example. Many people’s principle is -
After I break up with my ex, whether or not I keep my ex’s contact information is my own. No one can interfere with my affairs. I know in my heart that nothing about my ex will affect my future relationship. Keeping my ex in my friends list is equivalent to leaving a dusty memory in a corner of my heart.
If I establish a relationship with you, I will be responsible for our relationship. I will get to know you seriously and manage our relationship in a good direction. However, I will never allow you to I would take it as a violation to order me to delete my ex and thereby question my motives.
If you allow your lover to retain himself when you first enter a relationship, both parties will focus on managing the relationship. Understand each other's temperament and preferences, gradually open yourself to each other, and try toTry giving.
Based on the other party’s feedback, gradually invest more and deepen the integration. Then when the relationship thrives, some people will automatically delete their ex, and others have gained enough security. I have enough confidence in my relationship that I won't get entangled in such trivial matters anymore.
Therefore, when facing a romantic relationship, one should adhere to the principle of "management is more important than commitment". If management is good, there will naturally be commitment behavior from the heart.
And if "commitment is more important than management", it puts the cart before the horse. Both parties say a lot of beautiful words that are not sincere and force each other to do things that the other party does not want to do. The feeling of getting along will be very bad and the relationship will be easy. If it cannot develop, those so-called promises will still be broken in the end.
