Boys with low emotional intelligence are the kind of unpopular straight men in the eyes of girls, so whether in love or in the process of chasing girls, boys' emotional intelligence is particularly important. So how can boys improve their love EQ?
1. In the pursuit stage, what is the difference between you and people with high emotional intelligence?
Do you often In order to prove your ability, do you work hard? In the end, as long as you find that the results are not in line with your expectations, you will be very disappointed. You will make yourself very tired just to prove your certain value. In fact, this is a relatively stupid behavior. What is even more frightening is that many people will regard this behavior as a kind of pride. Most of these people may appear to be strong on the surface, but in fact they are very fragile on the inside. Why do I say such people are stupid? Because they live in other people's eyes and mouths.
Do you feel that all women like money? As long as you have money, there will be love? So you imagine that one day you will transform into Wang Sicong, and countless beauties will fall in love with you? However, even though he is a rich man like Wang Sicong, What makes him more attractive to girls is that he is interesting! Emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships have nothing to do with how much money you have. Instead of always trying to make money to make up for your uneasiness, it is better to reflect on the way you think and speak.
So it is easy for you to work for your desires and make money for your desires. But once a person has desires, it is the first step into pain, leading to a tired and empty life.
People with high emotional intelligence tend not to be trapped by these. They understand that except happiness and freedom, nothing is so important. If happiness and freedom are lost, everything is meaningless. Enjoy money, but don’t be bound by money to do things that make you particularly uncomfortable; enjoy love, but don’t get addicted to it and get trapped by love.
They will turn everything around them into an aid rather than an obstacle to them. They will not think that girls don’t like them because they have no money, but will pay more attention to how to get along with girls so that they can be attracted to them. Be happy, how to get along with yourself to have a happy life. Once people are restrained, they easily lose themselves. So when you pursue freedom instead of various desires in life, you can see away a lot of things.
Having no desires and no demands does not mean that you don’t want it if you can’t get it, but that you find that many things are just like that if you get them. The former is a compromise for your own incompetence, and the latter is a compromise with life. Kind of open-minded.
2. If you are not confident, nothing will start. If you think you are a good man, you will not be able to recognize yourself
To yourself If you are not confident, you dare not start anything, you are always afraid that you will get nothing, and you think of all the possible adverse consequences. These vague imaginations will inhibit your pace.
But what about people with high emotional intelligence? They also try it for the first time, but their way of thinking is completely different., when you are afraid of failure and adverse consequences, what people with high emotional intelligence think is: I will give it a try. It is best if I succeed. If I fail, I will also gain experience, which will be helpful for the next success. For example, if this girl doesn't give me her contact information, then I can know that my approach to striking up a conversation is wrong, or there are other reasons. However, what if she gives me her contact information?
The wrong way of thinking is to find it for myself. Make excuses and restrain yourself; the way of thinking of people with high emotional intelligence is to constantly summarize, reflect and find ways to make themselves better. This is the gap.
In addition to lack of confidence, there is another most common mistake: talking too much about morality. In fact, morality is used to restrain oneself, not to show off oneself as a good person or to kidnap others.
Will a scumbag feel hurt because you call her a scumbag? Will a bad person stop doing bad things because you scold her? Why is it useless for you to be moral to others? Because you want to What a person does is not achieved through action, emotion, and reason. It is about finding the needs of that person, putting aside morality for the time being, and using some methods to get that person to do something for their own needs. .
For example, if you like a girl and you confess to her, will she agree? No, you must grasp her needs, know what kind of person she likes, and let go of her moral kidnapping , to improve yourself and make yourself better to attract her. Why do good men never get goddesses? Because they have no interest, and their only value is to call themselves a good person. But if you don’t have emotional intelligence and interest, who will care about you?
There is no unified standard for judging everything in the world. Morality can only be used to constrain your own behavior and correct your own character. Do not kidnap others morally, but use methods to make others willingly do what you want.
3. Successful people face their desires, while failed people are swallowed up by their desires
What we fear most is What? Fear of desire and fear. To say that there is no desire or desire is beyond the reach of ordinary people. Everyone has desires, but what they are afraid of is that they cannot control their desires. In addition, they dare not face the things they fear, and are at a loss.
So how do people with high emotional intelligence solve the problem?
People with high emotional intelligence will not become addicted to something because of desire, but will figure out why they have such a desire. Whether this desire can be achieved, will you become better by satisfying this desire, and then find a way to achieve your goal. They will not let desire become a necessity, but dispensable. If they achieve the best, it doesn't matter if they fail to achieve it. If you can't control your desires, you will be buried in them.
When it comes to fear, it is more common:
Always doubting that you are not good enough, or fearing the appearance of a love rival, or fearing that a girl will change her heart. A person with low emotional intelligence will be dominated by these fears. He will confirm with girls all day long: The person you love most is me, I am enough for you.Okay...something like that. As long as there is a competitor in the relationship, they will be very panicked. The method they adopt is to delete the opposite sex from the girl's mobile phone, and use a controlling and commanding tone to tell the girl not to chat with the opposite sex.
What do people with high emotional intelligence do?
How to quickly improve their emotional intelligence. They will objectively think about what is wrong with their handling of sexual relations. If Really, change the way you handle it and help your partner to make both of you better. Even if a love rival appears, they will not be afraid, because they know that there are points in themselves that attract girls, and they will not turn off girls even if they are in a long-term relationship.
