Men and women think very differently. If you are still thinking like a man when you get along with a girl, you will find it difficult to continue the conversation, and the other person will also find it boring. So what are the differences between men and women? Today we will mainly talk about three aspects to help you understand the direction of girls’ thinking.
1. Abstraction and concreteness
Men prefer to evaluate something based on logic and pattern. To summarize something.
Girls, on the other hand, prefer to pay attention to the details of the topic and then branch out from it.
Let’s think about it and chat with a buddy:
“I saw a young lady recently.”
“Do you have any photos?”
< p>Bring the phone over and take a look."I'll go, yes, awesome."
But girls are different:
"I recently met a little brother."< /p>
"Do you look handsome?"
"Of course he is handsome."
Took the phone and took a look.
"How did we meet?"
blablabla...
Yes, if girls' chatting is a flow of emotions, then men's chatting is a stream of consciousness.
Men’s chats usually don’t have any starting points or transitions. They start directly, with a question mark and a word “um”. Five minutes later, let’s meet Summoner’s Rift.
But when chatting with the girl we like, we cannot say some very abstract and general language, such as good, good-looking, good-looking.
This will not make the girl emotionally aroused. Even if she is interested in you, the threshold for her to reply to you will be very high, and in the end it will be nothing.
At this time, some friends may ask: "Nonsense, when a girl talks to me, she will only say, um, okay, it means I am chatting with a fake girl."
< p> Friends, we need to know that boys do not only have male thinking, and girls do not only have female thinking.The reason why a girl uses a lot of generalized language is because when she is chatting with you, she may still be in a defensive state, so she shows a certain degree of male thinking.
So the first step after we understand the difference in thinking is to make the chat more detailed and emotional, so that girls can put down their guard.
2. Feelings and results
Based on the difference in thinking between men and women, we know that men focus on results, while women It pays more attention to feelings.
It’s like what the saying goes, if two men chase a girl, the one who quits later will love you more; if two girls chase a man, the one who quits first will love you more.
Although, there are many women nowadays who have the courage not to hit the wall and never look back.
But if we think carefully about our dog licking experience, we can feel this difference.
When a girl likes someone, please don’t let me go. I just need to pay for you silently.
Boys are like licking dogs, I like you and I want to be with you.
The reason why I keep licking is because I want to be together. That is to say, if you look at it from a distance, you look like a dog. If you look at it up close, it will look like a dog. If you hit it, it won't go away. If you look closely, it will look like a licking dog.
This is the difference between result-oriented and process-oriented thinking.
Therefore, when we get along with a girl, we should not always think about how to be with this girl.
Instead, you need to think about how to get along with girls, so that she will be more comfortable.
If you still focus on the results and pursue it, you may not only fail to catch up, but you may also become a licker and a spare tire.
In fact, getting along with girls can be summed up in one sentence, that is, if you want to be with her, don’t think about how to be with her.
3. Value tendency
Men pay more attention to the value of reproduction, while women pay more attention to the value of survival.
When people are looking for a partner, they will focus on three aspects of value: reproduction value, emotional value, and survival value.
Reproductive value, to put it bluntly, is the face. In fact, it also includes skin, height, body, facial features, hair quality, manners, etc.
The emotional value is three views, sense of security, romance, etc.
The survival value, superficially speaking, is money, and of course status, personal skills, interpersonal relationships, etc.
Generally, couples who can stay together for a long time have at least two values ??that satisfy each other's requirements.
Don’t believe it? Now let’s go back to a simpler time, high school.
What were the characteristics of popular girls at that time? They were good at studying and beautiful. Good character and beautiful. She is very talented and beautiful.
Yes, no boy would suddenly bump his buddy with his arm during cleaning and say, did you see the girl sweeping the floor over there? She will become my wife in the future because she is virtuous. That won't happen.
Then let’s think about it again. What kind of boys do girls tend to like when they go to school? Young gangsters, bohemian, free-spirited, singing, dancing, rapping and playing basketball.
This tendency is caused by the evolutionary bias theory.
About 1 million years ago, when everyone was still a monkey, a male monkey saw a female monkey with smooth and elastic fur.
Eh? I also want a little monkey like this, and then I will propose marriage with a banana.
Then, because the female monkey is not as strong as the male monkey, she usually cannot eat bananas. As soon as I see bananas, I agree with you.
Later I found out that I was pregnant and couldn’t pick bananas. What should I do? Oh, it turns out I need a monkey that can give me a lot of bananas.
This is the difference between men and women brought about by our genes, with different value tendencies.
In fact, having said that, the thinking differences between men and women themselves will not cause us great obstacles or confusion.
Because as long as we really want to understand each other and understand each other, we can love and care for her better.
Because feelings are not a competition, there is no friendship first and competition second, only participation is important.
Only in the process of participation, we continue to understand and understand her little thoughts, can we get together with her.
