Question:
Hello, tutor, I work in the same office building as a girl. She is on the 5th floor and I am on the 6th floor. We have known each other for a week.
I chatted with her for the second time this morning. I asked her on WeChat what she was doing, and she replied that she was busy. At this time, I said you are busy first, and then she replied with a um and ended the chat.
I feel that when I chat with her, she is always indifferent, unable to start a conversation, and don’t know what to do. In addition, I would like to ask, is it okay to send her a WeChat message to chat with her tonight?
Answer:
< p> Hello brother, chasing girls also requires good timing and location. Since your workplaces are only one floor apart, you have already taken advantage of the good location, but now you lack the right time.In other words, it’s the wrong time for you to chat with her.
You chat with a girl in the morning, but at this time in the morning, both you and her are at work, with many things to do and busy.
At this time, you ask her what she is doing?
There are two questions:
Question 1. If you open the topic like this and ask what you are doing, you are asking for value.
You and the girl have only known each other for a week, and you have only chatted for the second time, and you have already begun to demand value. This will make a girl feel that chatting with you is a task and an errand. She needs to provide value all the time, and you will always ask for value (this is how questions and answers are formed).
When we first get to know girls, we must first have a topic, and the core content of this topic is to provide value.
For example, in your example, if you are chatting with a girl in the morning, you can just say, "It's almost 12 o'clock, and I don't know what to eat for lunch. I saw a newly opened so-and-so restaurant over there that seems pretty good." "Looks like"
By starting a conversation like this, you are providing value to girls. And it may also resonate with her, because she may be worried about what to eat for lunch, and then you gave her a recommendation.
Therefore, when we first chat with girls, we must learn to provide value to girls instead of asking for value. Ask for value and girls will respond to your desire, and your mood will be very low, so you will find that girls are ignoring you on WeChat.
Problem 2. The chat time is wrong, so girls may think you are a person who has nothing to do
You asked a girl what she was doing at noon. Putting aside the question of not opening the topic well, the other question is that you were just chatting with her because you had nothing to do at noon.Love does it, so you want to chat with her.
But you know, actually after a girl is free, when she thinks about you chatting with her, she will find that you are looking for her when she has nothing to do, and she will think that you are an idle or immoral person.
Of course, it’s not that you can’t chat at noon, but that if you don’t chat well at noon, or if you chat casually, it will convey this bad feeling to girls and reduce our own attraction. Do you understand?
Therefore, when chatting at noon, first of all, there must be a good topic to interact with, otherwise both parties will not be in a good mood and it will easily turn into small talk; secondly, the interaction should not be If you chat for more than 10 rounds, girls will think that you are not doing business and have nothing to do; finally, when chatting at noon, we must learn to actively end the topic, such as "Okay, let's not chat now, I will complete the task assigned by the leader first, you Come on, come on.” This way you can convey:
(1) You won’t pester girls to talk all the time, and your sense of need can be reduced a lot
(2) You are a capable person People who are dedicated to getting things done and are enterprising or motivated
If you solve these two problems, you will not be in this situation when chatting with girls in the future.
Finally, let me reply to your question: You asked, should it be okay to chat with her at night?
< p>My answer: It’s okay to chat with her at night, but you need to learn to provide topics and don’t ask what you are doing.Later, in order to prevent girls from having a bad impression of you and to prevent girls from thinking that you are doing nothing at work, after chatting for about 3 rounds, you can ask: "Are you familiar with your company's finances? I happen to encounter some problems and want to ask someone for advice." This will help to restore the possible bad impression.
Then, you realize that "you are afraid that girls will annoy you", which is very good. It shows that you have a certain degree of empathy and can see the problem from the other person's perspective.
In the process of chasing girls, we can take the initiative to chat with girls, but you must have some empathy. Before we send a message to a girl to chat, we should think about it, if you were her, what would you think when you saw this message?
But in fact, "empathy" means that many boys are chasing girls. This is extremely lacking in the chat process. If you lack this point, girls will think you are straight.
For example, some boys may think that a girl is cold because she is "introverted" or because she is slow to warm up? Therefore, he will be more proactive towards the girl, send more messages and give gifts. I want to use my enthusiasm to speed up the pursuit of girls. However, the result is that it puts a lot of emotional pressure on the girls, and the girls keep escaping, which in turn accelerates the girls' resentment.
In the face of love, how can there be such a thing as introversion? The reason is just because you have not attracted her, and the girl is not interested in you.caused by the big. Therefore, we must learn to find our own problems and start from ourselves. For example, see if the topic is not interesting to girls, or is it for some other reason?
This is a process of changing yourself and improving yourself.
