Whether it is a stalemate between friends or a quarrel between lovers, we all need to choose whether to forgive. After breaking up, if your ex comes back to you to get back together, do you need to forgive in this situation? Let’s learn about forgiveness together. The right way to do it for your ex.
1. Never forgive on matters of principle
When a partner encounters violence or betrayal during the relationship When someone behaves like this, anyone with a sense of morality will feel guilty.
At this time, asking for your forgiveness not only knows that he has done something wrong, but also has the purpose of alleviating his own psychological burden
For people who have done something wrong, asking for forgiveness is largely to make themselves feel less uncomfortable, that is, to feel less guilty.
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In this case, forgiving the other person, or even continuing to be with the other person, may cause repeated damage to your body and psychology.
Therefore, in some cases, forgiveness is not as sacred as people think, and it is definitely not a panacea.
Many times, we no longer cling to the past hurts and no longer care about anyone. It's not about forgiving, it's about forgetting and choosing to let yourself go.
2. Not every trivial matter can be forgiven
Some people say that issues of principle cannot be forgiven
Can you choose to forgive small things like being late, not paying attention on dates, forgetting your birthday?
Unfortunately, choosing to forgive small things will not improve the relationship, but will give the other party a sense of " You are generous enough and it doesn't matter if he makes mistakes."
As the saying goes, a friend's kindness is worth his salt
Just because you give him more opportunities does not mean that the other party is truly grateful to you
On the contrary, the more times you forgive, the more opportunities you give him. , it will also give the other party the illusion that you don't care about this matter, then you "don't care" anymore, and naturally it won't affect your relationship.
It does not mean that in our intimate relationship, we have to fight for each other and not give in.
But before you forgive, you have to express your dissatisfaction. Of course you can be unhappy that he is late. Isn’t your time precious?
Of course you are if he forgets your birthday. There is a reason to be angry. After being together for so long, he can’t remember your birthday. Does he really care about you?
Even if he is really too busy and forgets, he can make up for it.The way?
Why do our relationships sometimes break down because of trivial things?
It’s not because of the destructive power of that trivial thing, but because of the dissatisfaction accumulated in the past. You have forgiven me too many times
When you endure it for the last time, you don’t want to endure it anymore.
3. Emotional forgiveness and behavioral changes for non-principle issues
Blindly forgiving will condone the other party, but Not forgiving will accelerate the breakdown of the relationship. So in an intimate relationship, what should we do when the other party makes a non-principled mistake?
The best way is to forgive the other party emotionally and behaviorally. To change the other person, you can't keep holding on to his or her mistakes, nor can you bring up old scores whenever you have a quarrel
You have to tell him or her that you are sad because of his or her mistakes, but because of love, you are willing to forgive him or her. , but the premise is that he cannot make the same mistake a second time
The price for you to forgive him is to ask him to make changes. Only such forgiveness can bring about positive changes.
Many times, when we let go of the past and no longer care, it is not about forgiving the other person
but about learning to let go of ourselves and not wanting to waste time on unworthy relationships. When we learn to love ourselves , when we also love each other
Only then do we know what true forgiveness is and when to forgive.
