For a relationship, time is often a magnifying glass, which will magnify the problems between lovers until both parties can no longer bear it and finally break up. This is why many couples' relationships become weaker and weaker as time goes by.
In fact, many people have been harmed by a wrong concept: running in can solve the problems between two people. .
If working together in a relationship can solve all the problems of two people, then there will not be so many people who will get divorced after five or six years of marriage - if there are serious differences between two people, If it is not suitable, then this relationship is destined not to be solved simply by running in.
When you decide to enter a long-term relationship, you must ask yourself a question - if this person will not change in the future, or may even be slightly worse than the current state, can you still Unacceptable?
Why is this issue so important? It’s because many people have an unrealistic fantasy: hoping that in their future relationships, two people will get along with each other to make each other better and better. .
In fact, I feel that "feelings are getting weaker and weaker" has a certain subjective perception. If you don't believe me, let me describe it. Scene:
Many years later, you come home from get off work and find that the other person has already prepared the meal, which is still the same as before: fried rapeseed, steamed buns, millet porridge; your significant other is sitting on the sofa Erlang Legs watched an online drama that you were never interested in; the two of you finished the food in front of you calmly, and you said "It seems a little cold", and the other party calmly said, "That's not because you work overtime every day. You won't come back early next time." "It's cold"...
Some people will find this scene very scary: they will feel that decades of life are repeated every day, and there is no relationship between two people. Passion, even words are not spoken, it is terrible, marriage is the tomb of love.
But some people think this is normal and even a little warm: there is a light on in the living room, there are cooked meals on the table, and there is another person who can talk to them. Half - you say these two thoughts,
Which one is correct?
They all seem to be correct, because this matter is really subjective. How to judge this scene depends entirely on your understanding of love. What is the understanding of relationships: If you are both pursuing novelty and excitement, then it is normal for the relationship to become less and less intense the more you talk about it, because a long-term relationship itself is a return to normal life.
But if what you are pursuing is a sense of companionship and security, then you will feel that the relationship will become more and more comfortable the more you talk about it: before you would take a shower, wash your hair and spray perfume in order to go on a date with the other person, but now youYou can feel free to fart in front of each other - this relationship has become your daily life, and you will feel very happy.
Some people choose to have a cold war when something unpleasant happens to them, or their partner makes them angry, and they digest the negative emotions alone; but some people choose to solve the problem directly. Perhaps this process is full of There were quarrels and disputes, but after the conflicts, everyone knew where each other's boundaries were.
At the beginning, some people choose inappropriate people and try to change each other, while some people carefully choose the right person; when getting along, some people always pursue freshness. and excitement, while some people pursue a sense of companionship and security; when facing conflicts, some people choose to whitewash their anger and suppress their anger, while others choose to face problems and conflicts directly.